Friday, July 1, 2011

FRIDAY FOLLIES: On Bachmann, Founding Fathers, Glenn Beck and Where Gays Come From

 Happy Canada Day (formerly Dominion Day), July 1, and Happy Fourth of July (formerly Independence Day), July 4.  Both days celebrate independence from Great Britain, the only difference being we dropped the Brits in 1776 and the Provinces to the North went on bitching about them until 1982.

Sometime in the 60s or 70s I was at my aunt's house singing praises to Queen Elizabeth, thinking that was the polite thing to do, considering I was in Canada and it was Dominion Day.  Imagine my surprise when that tiny Italian spitfire snarled "Piss on the queen!"  There might have been a hand gesture, too, I don't remember exactly. Well, I was shocked!  By the time I came to my senses she was passing salami, prosciutto, mozzarella, Cornetti bread and Dago Red from Uncle Victor's wine cellar so I forgot to ask what she could possibly mean by that.  I'm sure she had her reasons.  (You know things are bad when whole countries don't want to be you anymore.)

I should ask Michelle Bachmann why we all wanted to be free of England.   (She might even know why my aunt was so mean to the queen.)  She knows all about the Founding Fathers, those guys who worked tirelessly to end slavery.  She tends to confuse founding sons with founding fathers, but I'm not here to pick nits, I'm here to find out once and for all why two out of three countries in North America went out of their way to give up their British citizenship when we're all so in love with the Brits we can't get enough of their music, their movie stars, their accents or their Royal weddings.

Oh, by the way, Glenn Beck said goodbye to Fox yesterday.  I know.  I don't care, either, but it happened and it's Friday Follies, and I have a happy Holiday houseful so I'm using it to fill space so I can go make potato salad. 

Fox News Channel

 And speaking of happy, I found this picture at a place called  Thank you, Happy Place!

My moment of sublimely happyWe are Ohio, a pro-union coalition, delivered 1.3 million signatures on petitions to repeal Senate bill 5, the anti-collective bargaining bill republican Governor John Kasich thought he had pushed through without a hitch.  Ha!

The coalition leading the effort to repeal Senate Bill 5 delivered a record of nearly 1.3 million signatures to the secretary of state today to place Ohio's new collective bargaining law on the November ballot.
A parade of more than 6,000, led by a banner proclaiming the "million signature march," rumbled through Downtown this morning.
We Are Ohio, the group leading the referendum effort, organized the march up Broad Street to Fourth Street, where a 48 ft. semi-truck carrying the 1,298,301 signatures in 1,502 boxes collected will be unloaded. The parade also included retired fire trucks, a drum line, bagpipes and loud motorcycles. It took about 15 minutes to pass.

 The best part?  they only needed 231,000 signatures, so with that many signatures, they made it impossible for the petitions to be challenged, and impossible for the bill to become law before the results of the November elections.  Kasich and his bunch can slither, they can rattle, but they can't sink their fangs in.  Not this time.

Union supporters march toward the Statehouse to deliver the 1.3 million petition signatures.

Cartoon of the week:

Copyright © 2011 Creators Syndicate

Have a great Independence Day weekend.  Stay safe, be well, be back on Tuesday to give 'em hell.


  1. Yeah Ohio! I wonder if Republicans are scared. They should be.

  2. Now that the GOP has revealed who they are so clearly, maybe this country will truly wake up. Ohio is certainly a good sign as is Wisconsin and all the recalls coming.

    Heard on the news that the governors of Texas, in the midst of what is officially a disaster, and Florida, a state under seige by the health scare industry, were both MIA the other day. They were later found IN Vale, CO, visting the Koch brothers and their summit.

    Why do they have to hide? Because they know what they are doing is terribly wrong. But they are going anyway. You can replace them, but you will never make them care. Which they proved they don't...just the other day. reveal to friends ths is who they are, and demand better.


  3. The GOP march to a different drum, I don't think they could play
    in a band b/c they don't care what the outcome is going to be,
    just give me my rights, my money and to heck with the rest of the
    country...the tea party members are not rich enough to be repubs.
    Don't they realize that once the repubs get their way, the tea partiers
    will become the new have nots. They won't be needed anymore and
    then they and we will have to live with THEIR crazy
    is that?

  4. As I've said a thousand times before, I just don't get why ordiinary, civilized Americans vote Republican. There is nothing redeeming about their behavior in any political arena. They don't hide what they plan to do once they're in office, yet people who will suffer when the Repubs put their plans into action willing vote for them.

    It's a mystery that no amount of explanation really explains.

  5. The other day, I came across some old recordings I’d made of The Muppet Show. One was the show from March 1978 that featured Alice Cooper as the guest. As I was watching, it occured to me that in every picture of Michele Bachmann I have ever seen, she looks far, far more deranged than Alice Cooper does when (with full makeup) he is trying to look crazy.

    This is the episode that started off with Scooter coming in to the guest dressing room to find Vince Furnier applying makeup while surrounded by monster Muppets.

    Scooter: Uh, sir? I think there’s something you should know.
    Alice Cooper: Yes?
    Scooter: These monsters aren’t ours!
    Alice Cooper: I know. They’re mine!

    Anyway, I was inspired to look up the lyrics to an old song and alter them a bit. (The original is Bette Davis Eyes, written by Donna Weiss and Jackie DeShannon in 1974 and made a hit by Kim Carnes in 1981):

    Charlie Manson Eyes

    Her speech is Glenn Beck gold
    Her grimace sweet surprise
    Her heart is always cold
    She’s got Charlie Manson eyes
    She’ll turn her rhetoric on you
    You won’t have to think twice
    Cold as Minnesota snow
    She got Charlie Manson eyes

    And she’ll tease you
    She’ll unease you
    All the better just to sleaze you
    She’s precocious and she knows just
    What it takes to make a Rove blush
    She got John Boehner teary cries
    She’s got Charlie Manson eyes

    She’ll take you to the cleaners
    It whets her appetite
    She’ll lay you on her slab
    She’ll take a dump on you
    Roll you like you were dice
    Until you come out blue
    She’s got Charlie Manson eyes

    She’ll expose you, when she snows you
    Off your feet with the crumbs she throws you
    She’s ferocious and she knows just
    What it takes to make a Rove blush
    Republicans think she’s a guy
    She’s got Charlie Manson eyes

    And she’ll tease you
    She’ll unease you
    All the better just to sleaze you
    She’s precocious, and she knows just
    What it takes to make a Rove blush
    She got John Boehner teary cries
    She’s got Charlie Manson eyes

    She’ll tease you
    She’ll unease you
    Just to sleaze ya
    She’s got Charlie Manson eyes
    She’ll expose you, when she snows you
    She knows ya
    She’s got Charlie Manson eyes

  6. Okay, Eric, now you're scaring me. (Brilliantly accurate! Thanks.


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