Sunday, February 7, 2010

Sarah Palin Tea Party Speech SIMULCAST: Surrender NOW

It's 5 AM.  I can't sleep.  Moments ago I was lying under the covers, thinking, did I fully enjoy life before the coup?  Will I have enough good memories?  Because after today memories are all I'm going to have left.

Normally, I'm on top of things enemy-wise (or at least I thought I was), but I missed this one.  For most of the day yesterday (Saturday) the TV was off, and last night we had a rare night out visiting friends.  So I didn't know a thing about the end of the world until a few minutes after we got home, when my daughter called.

 Me:  Hello?

My daughter:  Can you believe they've got her on ALL the channels?

Me:  Who?

MD:  Sarah PALIN!  That tea party speech!  And now she's doing a x#%* Q and A!!

Me:  What!!! (Alarmed) You've got to be kidding!   MSNBC too?  Not C-Span!

MD:  All of them!  Turn on your TV!

I gotta go," my daughter said, "I'm writing letters; I'm calling those stations.  They can't get away with this."

I turned on the TV.  MSNBC.  The crowds were cheering and Sarah Palin was smiling and waving, Evita-like, blowing kisses, winking.

I turned the TV off.

This can't be happening, I remember thinking.  I went to the window and looked out into the darkness.  I put my ear to the glass.  I waited for the inevitable sights and sounds of war:  the rumble of tanks, the whump, whump, whump of helicopter rotors, the ack, ack, ack of flak guns, the fires rising skyward, telling me whole towns were being destroyed. . .

So far nothing was happening.  That was good.  I turned on my computer.  It didn't appear to have been taken over yet, so I went to my Twitter page to see what my buddies were reporting about it.

Roger Ebert:  Did she just say Mikey Cyrus?

Joan Walsh:  "So tired of hearin' the talk talk talk" -- she sees me! Sarah Palin sees ME!
Buzzflash:  Good Grief! Palin said "America is Ready for Another Revolution." What, the Revolt of the Zombies? 
Borowitz Report:  It turns out Palin was reading from crib notes written on her hand 2nite. I for one am shocked she can read and write.

Good God.  They were using pea-shooters against heavy artillery.  All is LOST.

So what could I do?  No guns in the house.  (I'm anti-gun.  Wouldn't you know?)  I did the only thing I knew how:  I wrote protest emails to everyone at NBC, MSNBC, CNN and C-Span.

(When I went to the MSNBC-TV home page,  a huge picture of President Palin hit me, first off.  She was smiling and waving, and the headline read something close to:  Palin to Obama:  Ha!  Ha ha ha ha and HA!!)  

Then it was midnight and I was tired.  I wanted so much to cling to this day, the last day of life as I would know it, but sleep took over--blessed oblivion for a few quiet hours--and now, as I write this I'm surprised at how afraid I am.

I should go and read what our new leader said last night.  Be right back.

(In the meantime, a musical interlude for your pleasure.)

This is taking longer than I thought.  Here's another one.  Sit tight:

Okay, I can't watch it.  I'm sorry.  I can't.   I watched 3 minutes, 20 seconds and had to quit when she got to the "guy with the truck".   Aiii.  And oy.  It's almost as bad as Carly Fiorina's sheep ad.

So.  Now that it's over for the rest of us, I keep thinking:  Should we have seen this coming?  Did we completely overlook the power of big hair, good teeth and a teasing wink?  When that tea party guy held up that sign that said, "Get a brain, Morans",

did he really mean "morans" and not "morons"?   Did we miss the deeper message?

And when that nice tea party lady raised her sign telling us to make English our "offical" language, did we just think she meant "official"?   Will Offical be our official language now that we've been taken over?

And when the tea party guy paraded with the sign that said "niggar",  was it maybe not as ignorant and odious as we originally thought?  Was he just innocently speaking Offical?

Remember how much fun we had with those people?  Are you thinking what I'm thinking?  I'm thinking it was all a clever ruse designed to put us off-guard until the actual Saturday-night Tea Party massacre.

All the time we spent laughing at them, they were just biding their time.  Sarah Palin, the unemployed-former governor-because-she-quit-Sarah Palin, finding new life going back to her old baton-twirling, cheer-leading days, collected $100,000 for an hour-long, $500-a-seat pep rally eagerly awaited and covered by the major cable networks (the same ones she called the "lamestream" media), filmed in its entirety by C-Span, the people's network (paid for by you and me, the cable subscribers), and told the citizens of the United States to get ready for a revolution.

And today, enjoying full collaboration with the media, it's here.  (Can't say she didn't warn us.)   So back to the age-old question; the one we've been asking and asking and asking without ever getting an answer:  What now?



  1. The coverage was horrendous. This is only a major event because the media made it so. 600 people, net revenue $300K, with 1/3 going to Palin. The ovations were not as rousing as the media is claiming.

    At least our local paper is reporting the truth, there was nothing of substance in her speech.

    Also, she is a horrible speaker, bad timing and poor use of notes.

  2. Ken, it's the media that scare me more than anything. They give that nutcase credence, and the money people will jump on that. Someday she'll be president and we'll wonder--again--how we let such a thing happen.

    There is no watchdog press anymore. Intelligence and intellect are dirty words. Celebrity and shock value is what sells.

    It almost doesn't matter what she said. She could be up there reading the telephone book as long as she threw in a few slams on the president and the Democrats.

    She has to use her hand as a cue card and still it doesn't matter. She'll be president some day. I'm going to be saying, "I told you so. . ."

    If we let this go on, we're in big trouble.

  3. Ramona, This is an excellently written article that really hits home. I could not agree with you more. However, I am more hopeful that she'll never be president. The convention, while newsworthy for shock/splash value, was not a huge event. Everyone there was an idiot in one way or another. This whole "teabagger" movement is (I think) another of those "grass roots movements seeded by Repub monies to create havoc and sound bites that are beneath the "professional" appearance the party wants to demonstrate. But ignorance is ignorance, no matter whose paying for it!

    And as for your article. Sheer bloody poety. I love it. Keep on writing them. Yours is the voice of reason and one we highly need to hear.

  4. Hi Stan, thanks for joining in. I hope you're right. It's just darned scary to see all programming stop on four networks just so the Mean Queen can recite a few hate words.

    That's how fascists get their start!

    BTW, love your new Art Deco banner. That is cool!

  5. Thanks Ramona. I appreciate it. I really like the way it turned out, too. Love your comment about SP in the corner. She's really got that white-y / racisit-y think going on, doesn't she?

  6. Thanks, Stan. If I could figure out how to make my Palin comment (upper right corner) shorter I might put it on tee-shirts!


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